Friday, January 30, 2009

I need to work out. Like bad. When NONE of my pants are fitting – even the “fat jeans” I face the harsh reality that I need to get off my “excessively large & getting larger” ass and sweat a little bit. I used to LOVE working out, actually it got to the point where I was obsessed with it. I would wake up early in the morning (about 6am) & go on a 3-4 mile run then bike to school. Once at school I had an aerobics class for an hour. After all of my classes I usually went back & participated in the afternoon aerobics class. (although I was not enrolled, the teacher would still let me join). My bike ride home came after the class and THEN, if that wasn’t enough for the exercise filled day, I would do a bit of kick-boxing and/or yoga once I got home. Seriously I was obsessed. I also measured all of my food & portioned everything out. 17 grapes, 8 crackers, 6 oz. lean turkey breast, one apple and perhaps some dried fruit/nuts mixture. Like I said many times previously, I was obsessed. But, my obsession did cause my physical body to be in the “best shape” it had ever been in. It was my mental state that just couldn’t take it anymore. So, with all of that being said, I would like to find a happy medium. I would like to get back into exercising and eating more healthily in addition to maintaining a relatively ‘normal’ schedule with work, social life, etc. I’m not sure how exactly this will all pan out but my initial step is to just get off my ass & do something. I just bought myself a new I-Shuffle which I am sooo excited about. I live to listen to music & what better way to get out there & run/jog/walk with some beat-pumping music? Music always has a way of motivating me to push myself into reaching my work-out goals & exceeding them. I just have to be “varry, varry, caerfull” of all of the cars speeding along not really paying attention to the pedestrians. (Do you like my attempt at speaking like Elmer Fudd?) Honestly, it frightens me to be on the streets of Los Angeles with the crazy, self-obsessed, pre-occupied drivers. Not to say I’m a saint-filled driver as I’ve had my days where I’m on auto-pilot & most likely have had a few “close-calls”. When living in an urban area we have to try our best to utilize what we have around us. Instead of running on major streets (which I am surrounded my dozens) I started opening up to the possibility that my neighborhood had some “safe” streets to run on. I was right, sort of. It is necessary to trek across many a large, car-filled streets in order to get to these “safe” streets. I haven’t even mentioned the smog/exhaust that emanates from the cars into the air which I subsequently inhale into my somewhat healthy lungs. You know what??? I’m just complaining and making excuses as to why I haven’t been working out. To credit my excuse making self, I was working A TON from the months of August – December. When I say A TON, I’m not exaggerating. My schedule was as follows.
Monday/Wednesday/Friday: Office 8:00am—4:30pm…Restaurant 5:00pm---10:30pm.
Tuesday: Restaurant 10:30am---7:00pm
Thursday: Office 8:00am---4:30opm
Saturday/Sunday: Restaurant 7:00am---4:00/5:00pm
That’s a lot of hours. Now I have to be honest here. It’s not like I was busy saving the world during work, I was busy doing clerical work and serving burgers & beers. But just the sheer amount of hours was tiresome. But I am/was very grateful I was able to have a job, two for that matter because in these times of economic downfall, I have been able to keep plugging away at an attempted savings nest-egg. This is totally on a side note. DO NOT DRINK AN ENTIRE CAN OF MONSTER LO-BALL COFFEE ENERGY DRINK. I don’t think I’ve had the shakes this bad, even after a heavy night of throwin back margaritas & Jose Cuervo shots. For reals. This is on the verge of uber-comical as my fingers are so jittery I am having difficulties typing. What does one do when they are too amped up on caffeine? Is there a remedy or solution? I am open to suggestions. Maybe having this caffeine-induced moment is really an epiphany. Because right now I feel like I could run 10 miles in 10 seconds. I don’t think I would ever be able to handle drugs that make you feel like the way I am feeling. So, with all of the above being said and possible understood, I bid you ado as I have long car ride ahead of me.

Friday, January 23, 2009


I have larvae. Not me personally in my body but in my home. The past week or two every time we open the pantry in our kitchen, out flutters a few moths. Well I think they are moths. These moths are VERY annoying. I don’t like killing insects and for the first week I would just shoo them away with a swat of my hand. But it got worse. Way worse. It got to the point where they were hanging out in my bathroom, in my bedroom, in the living room, halls, especially their homeland of our KITCHEN. Icky icky ick ick. What to do?! We called an exterminator. I wasn’t there when he came by to check our larvae filled pantry but was told by my roommate that it was advised “we throw out everything in our pantry”. EVERYTHING?!?! Yes, everything. These little buggers get into the most sealed up packages I kid you now. How? I have no clue. Literally, a sealed container, never once been opened & they get in there. I started to think… “Hmmm, how many larvae have I eaten in the past week & did not notice?” That’s right. I’m getting my protein from as many sources as possible. These are tough times & a girls gotta do what a girls gotta so. Ha, only in my worst nightmare. But in all of this bug-madness, I’d have to say I’m a little thankful. Still annoyed as ever but slightly grateful for these flitting creatures. I now have a clean slate to buy food for my pantry. Not to say I’m going to go stock up on canned beans and boxed rice but now I am able to determine the quantity of how much I buy because throwing it all away I realized I bought WAY too much in the beginning. I’m only one person. How many bags of dried lentils can one person eat? Honestly?! So come Saturday we have our bug-man coming to the rescue. I just hope our house doesn’t get packaged up in those brightly colored red and yellow bug tents. Those are ridiculously ridiculous. It’s quite embarrassing enough to have larvae and moths but to showcase it to the world? I think I’ll pass. But if that’s what needs to be done in order to rid our home of these pointless creatures then here’s my white flag. I’m handing it over, I surrender.


I just read an interesting info-pamphlet on pantry moths.....if interested here's the link



Thursday, January 22, 2009

Sweet Tooth

Okay, So I have a tiny bit of a "sweets" addiction. Just a small one.....Right. It's enormous! Giganticly Gigantic! But here's the thing. If I go without candies, cakes, cookies etc for a longer period of time (for me a long period of time is about 3 days) then I'm totally fine & can resist the temptation to devour an entire bag of Sour Patch Kids. But once I get that one taste, I'm like a crack-addict wanting her next fix. That's all I can think about is....mmm....I wonder what kind of sweet-treat I can have after lunch. I'm somewhat OKAY about resisting these urges. Somewhat. Today I was not. I brought an apple & an orange with me to work to see if I could trick myself. Didn't work. You can't fool a candy addict. After I ate my lunch (I'm addicted to the Tuna Salad at Literati Cafe. D-Licious) I convinced myself that, "Hey, it's okay to have a small bit of sweets today. The market by the office has really great chocolate chip cookies. I'll just eat half & then save the rest for tomorrow." It's conversations like this that I have with myself that get my pants a fittin-snugly. Well, I stopped into the market and instead of getting the cookie (which I really don't even like chocolate chip cookies much) I noticed their fine expansive array of protein bars. I don't like protein bars. I think they taste like ass. But some of the names of these bars were intriguing. I started to think..."hey, the Peanut Butter Caramel bar sounds like it would satiate my sweet-tooth & it's a healthier option." So I went for it. I bypassed my cookie & went for the "Think Think Pink: Peanut Butter Caramel bar". If I wanted to taste chalky cardboard I would've....well, I probably never have wanted to taste chalky cardboard & I now know for sure that I will NEVER want to taste anything that resembles this "protein bar"/Chalk brick. One bite and I knew. Shoulda gone for the cookie. But now I am in a pickle. Do I go back into the market & get the cookie? They would of course know that I was defeated by my brain's "oh I'm going to be healthy attitude" and give in to the cookie. I didn't do that. I was even worse. I stopped off at the bagel shop "to get some hot tea" well knowing they serve donuts. I don't even like donuts that much! But my "stomach" was on a sweetness mission & my brain was not doing a very good job in coersing me out of it. So I wait in line at the bagel shop. A long line. It's signs like these that I should pay attention to. I wanted something sweet. I got a chalk bar. There's a huge line at my next stop. Two people cut in front of me because I was probably in a slobbery daze in front of the donut window. I have to ask/tell the woman 3 times which donut I want because she doesn't understand that I want the "old-fashioned glazed donut" not the bland, drab un-glazed one. Yah, nothing stopped me. And you know what....I ate that freakin donut in like two seconds. I don't even remember eating it. Well, that's actually an exaggeration. It took me about 5 minutes but my point is, I didn't really need or want the donut. I wanted it but looking back I definitely could've just done without it. So now I kinda feel guilty but not really. It's more comical than anything. I cannot even talk myself out of eating something sweet after lunch. I went TWO years without eating candy. TWO YEARS. That's a very very very long time for someone who calls themselves a candy addict. And you know what....after the first month of not eating candy I didn't even miss it. I could prance back and forth along the candy isle & not twitch a muscle. (A month may seem like a long time to not eat candy but for me it was 4 agonizing weeks). But then I got over it. So....with all of this being said I believe I would like to stop eating candy again. I can't say for how long. But honestly, this current sweets/candy obsession has GOT TO GO. I do fancy myself some Cadbury Eggs so perhaps I can swing it till Easter. We'll see. For now I'll just be on my super sugar high for the next hour & then Crash, Boom, Bang, down I go.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Tornado Season is upon us

A letter to a friend…..

I can see why you have a connection with English Steven. He is witty & charming but he lives in England. Drab. He cleverly writes his e-mail with proper punctuation (a BIG plus in my book…well I don’t really have a book but you get the idea). Please tell me the sunglasses I was wearing yesterday are not the same as the ‘genital face/cock nose’ pair he spoke about in his e-mail. I am forever frightened if so. His proposition of a six month stint would be phenomenally fun! I don’t think you should nix the idea just yet. And anywho….you do live on the left hand side of the country and are in close proximity to many roads so let’s cross your blistered fingers & hope he comes to visit you soon. In the meantime just keep mesmerizing Superman into falling in love with you & your IQ of 160. Did you say you have not seen Iron Man? Scott was correct last night in saying you resemble ‘Pepper’ – the assistant to comic book character science guru turned into world saving hero. You are my partner in crime/fun/scandalous activity. Was there any scandalous activity last night? Oh wait yes there was…..you dancing with the quasi homeless man in the poncho made from my grandmothers rug while I was getting down with the didgeridoo. And then he wanted your number!! With what phone? You’d have to communicate with a cup and string! Ha ha ha, that was divine to witness such a momentous occasion. You made his year! If Ed was not completely frightened by our fun ways we will still have our slightly cracked/glued together skull heads. Speaking of which….did we leave those in Scott’s car? I truly hope so. Again my sincerest apologies for tossing your skull head into his car. I had not anticipated the bounce factor of the skull hitting the seat to be so high. I will stay true to my word…if you would like to exchange skull heads I am happy to oblige to your request. When are we going to make our hula hoops? Let’s put that on the to-do list ASAP because next time we go mash-up dancing at BootieLA I wanna be prepared to kick ass (or at least swivel it around). Wasn’t the hula-girls name Ruby? She’s your hula-hooping soul mate. What colors would you choose to decorate with? Would I go bright 80’s neon, disco glam glittery or dark, sultry Indian/Hindi style? Decisions decisions. I burnt my fingers a few times whilst making our delicious quesadilla. (I hope that when you read that last sentence you pronounced it Dilla like Villa not Dilla like Seeya). Next time I’m over at the Hill Street Pad, Apt. F I will replace the deliciously pink & white animals covered in nonpareils that I ravaged last night. I was just thinking….how the heck did you get your hands so blistered last night?? I thought I was drumming it pretty hard last night but in comparison to the outcome of your brutally blistered fingers/palms I guess I’m mistaken. OMG- I cannot believe those 18 year old girls tried getting you to buy them a drink yesterday. I bet it was an undercover sting operation! Good thing you have high moral standards, I wonder how many years in jail you would’ve had to spend. ;0) Ha ha, I kid I kid. It’s 81 freaking degrees right now & the office is the last place I’d like to be about now. When did we text Juli? I must have been totally committed to my Disarrono & couldn’t pay attention. It was a blast seeing Alina…I questioned myself about asking her about my missing wigs….but seeing that she borrowed them 4 years ago I surmised that she probably threw them out or she secretly wears them nightly & is so attached to them she couldn’t bare losing them. DO NOT DELETE the message we left ourselves. Was it when I was calling you to hear my spastic ring tone? We sure traveled the town last night. Scott once called me a tornado & I can proudly call you a tornado as well. Because we whip right in, stir things up, hop from here to there….we may cause a lot of ruckus but in the end….wait….tornados don’t really end well for the others. It is fun for us though so oh well. There were a few texts that I received from T-Dog this morning & as the hungover banter ensued, I was asking about the BBQ, etc….he said something about burgers & smores & I wrote back….”Smores? I’m so jealous!” Then he wrote back and said, “you said the same thing last night when I said we were making smores”. Ha ha, I then went back and checked my texting log last night & sure’nuf I had written…. “Smores? I love smores! I’m so jealous”. Didn’t really remember that. Oops. Perhaps the Jameson snuck up on me too. BTW those were some dang good nachos last night. I think I said the joke “What do you call cheese that’s not yours?” a few too many times last night. Especially to Ed who kindly laughed each time I told the joke although he was probably more annoyed than anything. Oh, and I made him take one of the skulls and ask in a funny voice if the guy across from us wanted a beer. All I wanted was for the guy to crack a smile. He seemed so serious and intent on not having fun. But then again, his fun may not be our fun & vice versa ya know? Good times. Yes. Tornado’s indeed. Are you up for dinner with Sevada & Caitlin & crew? I’m not sure yet as a nap is definitely in my near future once I manage Sawtelle traffic through mini-Japan town & hook a left onto Olympic to get home. (Just in case you wanted a play by play mapquest-y imagery of my decent into traffic hell after work). Oh and guess who still had her banana flavored lip gloss and gingerlilly positivity spray stuck in her bra which she just found moments ago?? That’s right! Kristen Paige Terry. That’s one classy lady. It’s super hilarious as to what I can stuff in my bra & then completely forget about. The benefits of being small chested. Well I best be gettin back to work seeing that I am being paid to deliriously write to you on Facebook. Up up and away!!

12/29/08

“Is you is or is you ain’t my baby….the way your acting lately, makes me doubt” cooed Diana Krall via my cell-phone alarm. I do not own an alarm clock, preferring instead to rely on my never-so-trusty cellular phone. (Damn you T-mobile for your shoddy service). But today the alarm went off without a hitch & of course the “snooze” button was hit repeatedly until there was no possible way of being on time for work. Why do I insist on ‘snoozing’ w/5 minute increments once my initial alarm has gone off? It’s not like the extra sleep I am getting (or not getting for that matter) is actually beneficial to me.

My bare feet scuffled along the mountainous piles of clothing and shoes to find the way to the door. Only I have the luck of a wounded fish in a shark tank and managed to not once, but twice step on hard objects that were so purposefully pointed upright as to cause the most pain upon puncture. Yoweeeee! With some hops a bunny would be proud of & an occasional whimper or two I learned from mans best friend, I managed to make it to the shower without further damage to myself. Looks like today I got up on the wrong side of the bed, although there is only one side to get out of the bed but the concept is there.

My girlfriend & I went adventuring to the ‘Laserium’ in Van Nuys this past Friday evening and boy oh boy it exceeded all expectations. When I was living in Utah as a youngster, we would frequent the Hansen Planetarium (now known as Clark Planetarium) and ‘wow’ ourselves with the Cosmic Laser Shows. The laser shows were set to all the classic music; ie; Led Zepplin, Pink Floyd, U2, The Doors. When we would attend these shows, my friends & I would be stone sober, no joke. When my girlfriend asked me if I’d like to join her for the laser show I was a bit skeptical. I mean, Van Nuys?? A laser show?? I thought I’d give it shot & I although I had high expectations, I was pleasantly surprised. When we first arrived at the warehouse (where the ‘Laserium’ was, almost studio-like) we met our host/hostess. Let’s just say they may have consumed large quantities of mind-altering substances in the past & might still believe it is 1974. The walls were painted to resemble ‘outer space’ with stars, galaxies, planets, etc all in paint that picked up black light….very neat! It reminded me of when I was a young & had the glow in the dark galaxy above my bed. Ahh, memories. Back to the story. We were led into a room where there was the “Lightdancer” and I desperately want one. But there is only one in the world. It was some sort of rubber mat in the center with laser lights embedded in the mat that would catch the lights that were hanging above. (Sounds complicated & my way of explaining it probably makes things worse). Long story short anytime your shadow would interrupt the laser/light stream, a musical note would be played. Note: there was already a song being played in the background with graphics being shown on a projector at the front of the room, the notes would coincide with the song, adding a second soundtrack if you will. We had our fair share of turns dancing on the Lightdancer, none of which were worthy of “dancing with the stars” although I am okay with that. We were then lead into the main area where the laser show would be. Did I mention it was set to Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon?!?! Yup, awesome is all I have to say. I’m really not great at explaining the laser/light/music concept so I will just say it was incredible to be so entertained with technology. It was 90% different than my initial laser show experiences but for some reason I enjoyed this one a bit more. Perhaps because it felt so “home-ly” and “ghetto” if you will. I have a new found respect for Van Nuys and the Laserium.

Saturday started off wonderfully. I woke up, which is always a good thing, & started off my day with a beautiful, relaxing drive up the Pacific Coast Highway, searching for a hiking spot suitable for man’s best friend. After a few misses (parks/trails that do not allow pets) we found our way to a National Park in Malibu. Perfect. (I will now guide you through my hiking experience via a “wordy-poetry-like-endeavor”). A crisp breeze tickled our skin as we began the trek up the mountain with moments of sun bursting through the trees, warming our skin ever so slightly. Crunch, crunch, crunch went our feet as we traversed up the hills over the slightest layer of frost, inhaling the fresh, un-polluted air. The trails meandered this way and that until we found our way into what into “private property”. (Note: I can’t be sure it was private property or not as I wasn’t really paying attention to posted signs. I know, smart.) The adventure then began as we crossed river after river trying to navigate our way back to the starting point. Okay, again I exaggerate. They were more likely to be called streams than rivers but it sounded so dangerous when I wrote ‘rivers’ I thought I’d just wing it……Okay, it is now a full two weeks since I began writing this blog entry so it’s not as fresh in my memory as it should be. But I will attempt to make my closing statements in a relatively sane manner. Back to the hike….hopped back and forth across streams, even had to take off the shoes and wade through the FREEZING cold water in addition to having slimy mud-goo seep through the spaces between my toes. Mmm….gotta love that feeling….NOT. (I haven’t used the phrase “…..NOT” for a long time. I think I will re-introduce it into my daily vocabulary. Anywho, why do so many people litter whilst they are in nature? I really couldn’t believe how much litter/trash I accumulated on our hike. After I picked up one water bottle, it became more of a mission to each time I spotted litter, I had to go & pick it up. Eventually it will probably end up in a landfill somewhere and the amount of energy it takes for cars, planes, etc to pick up the “recycling” from the bin may offset the actual benefit of me lugging around armfuls of trash. It became more of an internal issue that I could not stand to see the trash lying in such a wondrous, beautiful area. The rest of the hike was awesome! It wasn’t much of an intensive hike but more of a relaxing stint in nature. I need to be in nature more often. I didn’t make any New Years Resolutions because I like/d the way I was/am & didn’t feel the need to offer up commitments to myself. But if there is one, it will be to be outside in nature more often. When I say “nature” I mean anywhere where I can inhale and exhale without breathing in thousands of car fumes, toxins, etc.