Wednesday, June 10, 2009

The beginnings of a poem perhaps??

Don’t look at me that way, I know what’s behind your eyes.
Your dirty little secrets, and nasty little lies.
You’re asking for forgiveness, to wash away your sins.
I can’t bring myself to do it for this is a battle I can finally win.

Rad Red.....Really Random Read

So I just named my Blackberry. It was about time I gave her a name. I mean, it’s a phone and all but now if I can’t find it I can just say, Hey, anyone know where Rad Red is? & they’ll instantly know I am talking about my phone. I suppose I could say “Anyone know where my phone is?” But then people wouldn’t know what phone they would be looking for. At least with Rad Red they know it A. Must be Rad and B. Must be Red. So easy.

Monday, June 8, 2009

I thought this happened only in movies.....

I seriously can pick out the winners in a crowd. Yes, I’m being quite facetious. The other day I went bowling with one of my friends, Matt. We were having a grand ol’ time playing each other in air hockey, basketball, dance dance revolution (which I kick butt in I will add) until our names were called for our lane.

Whilst playing the arcade games I kept on noticing an attractive guy keep glancing over at me. We kept making eye contact throughout the evening & when I made a trip to the bar, he stopped me & began chit-chatting. It was a short lived conversation as I wanted to get my beer & head back to bowling but in the minute or two that we spoke he babbled on about how he thought I was ‘so gorgeous & sexy’ and how ‘he would love to take me out to dinner’, etc etc. I was flattered as I found him attractive as well but wasn’t yet going to be giving out my digits.

An hour or so passed & I went back to the bar to grab Matt & I another round of beers. Yet again this guy “Tim” stops me & insists I get his number or him mine as he really really wants to take me out to dinner &/or drinks. By this time I was thinking, OK, he’s definitely persistent & seems interested so, why not. We exchanged numbers & he mentioned he would text me “something sweet & cute” right away so I wouldn’t forget who he was. Hello! It’s not like I give my number out to just any random, of course I wouldn’t forget who he was as he was a persistent one from the bowling alley. The texts that were sent back & forth are as follows.

Tim : Where’s my cute bowler?
Me : Still working on my game.
Tim : See, I told you I’d sent a cute text.
Me : I don’t know if that constitutes as a cute text but thank you anyhow.
Tim : Well I’d really like to take you out to dinner this week. Do you like sushi?
Me : Why yes I do like sushi, when are you thinking?
Tim : You tell me when, I’ll tell you where.
Me : I’m free Thursday, you?

And then no more texts the rest of the night.

Turn the page to 11:15 the next morning. I’m finishing up some laundry & I hear my phone ringing. Looking to see who it is, I see it’s “Tim Bowling” calling. Wow, he really is persistent. I pick up the phone & here is the convo: (Warning, might be the funniest/awkward/amazing convo ever)…

Tim: Kristen!!
Me : Hey Tim
Tim : See, I told you I’d call.
Me : You’re right, I didn’t expect a phone call so soon though.
Tim : Well I wanted to talk to you but also I think I left my hat.
Me : Umm…you think you left your hat? Where?
Tim : In your bedroom silly, where else.
Me : Well unless the bowling alley was magically transformed into my bedroom, which it wasn’t, I have no idea where you left your hat.
Tim : Ha ha, you’re funny. You’re joking right? Remember last night I was standing in your room naked wearing only my hat & you were giggling?
Me : Ummm Tim? I think you have the wrong Kristen because you were never in my room. Really. You were never even in my house as I last saw you at the bowling alley.
Tim : Oh Fuck. Shit. Fuck. I am so sorry, Oh. My. God. Fuck.


Pretty much the most awesome conversation I’ve ever witnessed. He must’ve been scamming quite a few girls at the bowling alley & he went home with one of them. After the fact she was probably saying “So you’re going to call right?” & him being all, “yes I’ll call I promise, I have your number in my phone”. Fast forward to a few hours later when he thinks he’s calling “the girl he went home with” and voila, here I am an innocent bystander in a sleaze-ball love triangle. The unknown question that will remain unanswered is, ‘Did he actually meet two girls named Kristen & saved them in his phone & mixed them up’ or Good times in the city. I want my girlfriend to call his number from her phone in a week & say “Tim, you haven’t called and you said you would. I thought we had something special. I still have your hat too”. What I would give to be a fly on the wall on the receiving end of the phone call.

Lesson learned. I’m glad I found out very early on what a major douchebag this guy was.

Am I in Heaven??

Or is this a dream? This can’t be real, can it? A restaurant that was serving a 3-course meal and wine pairing? Get this, the main ingredient being DOUGHNUTS. Yes, doughnuts. Doughnuts that would make Homer Simpson proud. The doughnut tasting/wine pairing was at Grace restaurant in Los Angeles & I guess pastry chef Maria Swan is a doughnut connoisseur. Who knew doughnuts could be even more delicious than they already are? Well, serve them with amazing ice cream & a tasting of wine perfectly paired to bring out the flavors in both & you my friend will have one heck of a yummy meal.

The first course was a ‘salted caramel covered doughnut served with roasted pecan ice cream & fresh strawberries’ and the wine pairing was a Prosecco which is similar to a champagne but very dry, slightly acidic and crisp.

The second course was a ‘pistachio chocolate buttercream filled doughnut rolled in sugar & served with French vanilla ice cream& paired with a tawny port wine. The wine alone has such a high alcoholic scent it almost burns your nose but after a bite of the doughnut & a sip of the wine, it was clear to me that this Maria Swan knows her doughnuts and wine. The miraculous thing was I enjoyed this second doughnut and wine pairing better as a duo as the flavors of the food and the wine were magnified together but alone would be yummy, just not amazing.

The third course was a ‘buttermilk spiced rum glazed donut’ & was paired with a slightly sweet white dessert wine. It too was quite tasty but was my least favorite. Flavors of doughnut I LOVED the first course but wasn’t a huge fan of the prosecco. The port wine & the second course was let me say again, spectacular.

The whole experience was marvelous. I think I uttered the words, “Oh my gosh” at least two dozen times throughout the evening. I’m not sure if the doughnut tasting/pairing is offered daily as I believe it was a special tribute to National Doughnut Day which was June 5th but I do know Maria Swan (the pastry chef) does make different kinds of desserts, amazing doughnuts included.

Friday, June 5, 2009

The A's-Z's of Friday the 5th.

A is for Asbestos. Because I like saying the word Asbestos and because I can actually spell it.
B is for Baller. Because that’s what I am. Or so I think.
C is for Copy-cat. Because sometimes mimicking someone else is just a bundle of fun wrapped up in raffia.
D is for Delirious. Because that’s what I am 95% of the time.
E is for Ecstatic. Because that’s what I’d be if I weren’t here at work not actually working.
F is for Frank. Not sure if I mean Frank as in a person or Frank as in a ball (ball frank hot dogs). Perhaps both.
G is for Globs. Because pretty much any sort of glob is nothing short of amazing.
H is for Hilarious. Because if things in life can’t be hilarious, life would be a dull and boring place.
I is for Igloo. Because for once in my life I would like to build myself an igloo and sleep in it for one night. But just one night.
J is for Juxtapose. Because I actually don’t know exactly what the definition of juxtapose is but I can assure you I’d like it either way.
K is for Karaoke. Because that’s who I am.
L is for Lame. Because I’d rather be outside relaxing under an oak tree than here in a lame office.
M is for Meteor. Because meteors come from outer space. I think?
N is for Neanderthal. Because that’s who I am at times.
O is for Ostrich. Because the freaking birds weigh 300 pounds, can run up to 70km/h and are just odd looking.
P is for Pretentious. Because I live in Los Angeles and it is hard to find folks who aren’t pretentious.
Q is for Quirky. Because I’ve been called it before & am very proud of the fact.
R is for Retirement. Because I don’t think there is a specific age where a person should/could retire.
S is for Sleepiness. Because I’d do anything to go back to Preschool where we had mandatory nap times.
T is for True. Because being True to yourself & to others is the most important part of life.
U is for Unicycle. Because I have always wanted to learn how to ride one.
V is for Vanilla. Because I’m on a vanilla kick. Candles, body washes, perfumes, etc.
W is for Watermelons. Because I love to eat watermelons, especially if it involves a summer day in the park complete with a seed-spitting contest.
X is for Xylophone. Because who doesn’t enjoy a xylophone & also, how many other x words are out there?
Y is for Yellow. Because yellow might be the most sunshiny, splendidly happy color ever!
Z is for Zombies. Because secretly I would love to meet a zombie.