Thursday, May 14, 2009

A moment to vent may I?

A guy walks into an office building. Into our suite actually. Immediately upon walking into the office his cell phone rings. Quite an obnoxious ring tone I might add. “I actually have a phone call”….he said. Duh! Of course you have to take a phone call because you’re Mr. Awesome and can’t give the respect to those around you to keep your freaking phone on silent when entering an office/business meeting. Why don’t you just “ignore button” the guy/girl on the other end & show some respect.

And now he’s asking for a soda when the front desk receptionist offered him water, coffee or tea. We even have juices such as coconut water, cashew juice, coffee berry juice, you know, those weird organic healthy drinks that taste like ass. I’m siding with him ‘in a way’ because I would prefer a soda over these funky tasting/healthy drinks BUT still, we aren’t Starbucks or Albertsons or some kitschy market you’re used to frequenting. It’s a small office; we have healthy Cliff Bars for snacks and weird juices. Get over yourself.

What a nice little afternoon vent will do to the mind/body~

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Ahh...Finally, Day 9 has arrived.

Day 5 of the actual cleanse.

I get to eat food today! I’m supposed to ‘ease’ back into eating foods & keep it simple so my body can begin digesting & processing things w/o too much trouble/confusion. Last night about 11pm I was looking through my cabinets wondering what I was going to eat in the morning for breakfast. I was supposed to eat one organic apple, chewed slowly & thoroughly. Upon waking up I wasn’t all that hungry. But the thought of eating food again and actually chewing was too tempting. I ended up having a few pretzels with hummus. Oh my gosh have I ever tasted such glorious food in my life. I have been extremely disciplined this entire cleanse & decided to take it upon myself to walk down to the bagel shop & order myself a whole wheat bagel with peanut butter & jelly. No, it’s not healthy in the slightest & is exactly the opposite of what I am supposed to be eating. But let me tell you, I don’t care if my stomach curdles up in pain for the next day while trying to process the bagel, it was all worth it.

Did I learn anything while on this cleanse? Sure. I learned a shit-load. (pun intended). During the pre-cleanse I thought it was insanely difficult to find non-processed foods, etc but that was because I wasn’t looking in the right places. I was looking where I normally eat. But upon looking ‘outside the box’ I realized it is not difficult at all, it just takes loads of determination to stick with it. As the healthy eating routine becomes regular, it wouldn’t require a lot of determination but in the beginning I can guarantee it’d be tough. I guess me eating a PB&J Bagel this morning did not get me off to a great start. Tough cookies. I am committed to becoming more aware of the foods that I eat and the effects they have on my body. My starchy bagel I ate is making me slightly sleepy. Mmm….interesting. We’ll see if I have my mid-afternoon slump that I normally had before the cleanse. Back to work.

Is there a Dream-Reader in the House??

I had a weird dream last night.

I was dating *, my friend who lives in *. We were perfect together. We went camping with a bunch of friends and I became extremely exhausted so I went back to the house to get some rest. I couldn’t get *’s attention so I wrote him a note giving him all of the details of why & left & where I was heading. I get back to the house where at least a dozen people are staying & I picked a room to lie down in. I must’ve fallen asleep as the next thing I recall is being woken up in a rush. All around me chaos ensued, but I didn’t understand why. Then a few of my friends told me that when they left the communal hang-out area which I left earlier, no one remembered where I went or bothered to look at the note I left telling them my whereabouts. They then began to tell me that * had brought back our dog with them but had taken off to go search for me. In a frantic rush I left the house trying to go find *. Scouring the mountainside I see him walking along this narrow ridge. I try calling out his name but he is so far away & can't hear me. Suddenly he slips and begins to fall, but catches himself on a lower ledge. My heart was beating so fast & I couldn’t do anything to help him. As he was hanging there the ledge gave way & he began to fall deeper & deeper into the ravine. At the very last moment he managed to grab a hold of some plant life that began tearing from the rock as well. Such agony was surging through my body as he was hanging on to his life I couldn’t bare it. The screams that exuded from my body were so sad and painful. I can’t recall how he was saved but I remember running up to him with tears in my eyes kissing & hugging him. To think * would have been out of my life forever saddened me to no end. My dream them skipped to another scene but still in the mountains. I was with my mother. We were walking towards this restaurant for lunch and it was right along another ravine. As we got closer I looked to my right & saw a ginormous bridge going across the ravine. There was no way I was going to walk on that or even get near that bridge. My heart began to race and I started having shortness of breath. I don’t like heights I kept on telling my mom. But we continued walking towards the restaurant. The dirt road began to get smaller and narrower, which only added to the level of my anxiety. The mountain began to curve & upon coming around the bend the road was now small. Very small. The road now did not have anything to the right, just a sheer drop-off into an deadly abyss. I couldn’t walk slowly enough or carefully enough. I thought one wrong step & I would slip & fall to my doom. We finally arrived at our lunch destination which was a small tent-like thing on the actual road. When we sat down & began to eat I finally started relaxing. My heart beat lessened, the sweat quickly dried from my brow, I began to enjoy myself and the company of those around me. All good things come to an end right? The whole tent began to tilt this way and that, but very slowly at first so no one was believing me when I began to freak out. I became the crazy woman petrified of falling off the cliff into the ravine. It got so bad that I managed to get out & start running away from the tent. I didn’t look back. And then my mom was at the top of the mountain when I got there. She was leaving to the airport, flying somewhere. I kept trying to have a conversation with her but for some reason I couldn’t speak. No words were coming out. I wanted to tell her how frightened I was & that all I wanted was some reassurance. She left. And I was left there standing, alone.

Then I woke up.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Day 8...Continued

Day 4 of actual cleanse…Part Two

Okay so I’m in a much better mood now than when I wrote my last entry. I must have been in a funk all morning. I could do this for a couple more days….but I won’t. That's it I just wanted to share.

Day 8: The Home Stretch!!!

Day 5 of the actual ‘cleanse’:

I’m somewhat speechless as to how I have felt over the last few days. Friday was Day 2 of the cleanse where I was on a liquids-only fast and I felt great. I was a bit nervous for the weekend as I had to work at my restaurant job for Days 3 & 4 serving burgers and fries & didn’t know if I would be tempted to eat any of them while I was there. Quite the contrary actually. Although the food I was serving ‘looked good’ I didn’t feel the slightest inkling to consume any of it.

The energy. Did I talk about the amount of energy I had over the weekend? Not to say I actually capitalized on this energy but I did continually keep busy and never once had a ‘tired moment’. A few times I was almost too giddy & began to wonder…what exactly is IN this herbal cleanse.

I had a case of ‘acne’ that sprouted but I’m not sure if this was due to the cleanse or just random hormones fluttering about my body. I did notice the whites of my eyes are SUPER bright. Maybe it is because all of the ‘toxins’ are leaving my body??

Now it is Monday, the final day of the liquids-only fast & I can’t even begin to tell you how badly I want something to eat. Not because I feel hungry because it’s quite the opposite. I feel full. Too full. I am just really sick of drinking the TA’s as the flavor is becoming unbearable. I have only 2 more to go. Sounds like nothing but they are starting to make me gag & that’s not good. Maybe I’m just too excited about eating real food again that any other flavors that DO NOT resemble actual food are sickening to me. Am I venting? I heard a bitch side might come out while on the cleanse, I guess this is it.

Tomorrow morning I am supposed to ‘ease’ back into eating solid foods. I know that I should follow the instructions & eat my one organic apple, chewed thoroughly but I really want is to dive into a big pile of flapjacks and hashbrowns at IHOP. My stomach will probably combust if I tried to eat all of that food but that’s what I’m craving right now. I’m totally bitching right now but in all honesty, I have surprisingly enjoyed this whole experience. (I know it’s not over yet, I still have to get through tonight) but I would totally recommend this herbal cleanse to anyone.

Tomorrow is the final day & it can’t come too soon.

Friday, May 1, 2009

Day 5: Movin right along....Sort of.

Day 2 of the actual ‘cleanse’:

If today wasn’t a test of will-power (or mental power for that matter), I don’t know what is. Let me just say this…I have come to the realization that I’m a ‘bored-eater’. I eat when I’m bored. I don’t consider myself easily bored so perhaps that’s not the correct terminology. I guess the word to better describe my eating style would be ‘subconscious-eater’. I eat when I’m focusing on other things therefore my food intake is not as healthy as possible.

Today was decent. I never felt hungry but during certain times of the day when I normally would snack, I would be convincing myself that I was hungry. I had to take a moment & think to myself…Was I really? The answer was always a surprising ‘No’. Interesting right?

Grabbed some Organic carrots, celery, onion & potato to make my own home-made vegetable stock….it’ll be my ‘liquid dinner’. Ha, this really is hilarious that I’m doing a cleanse & can’t eat for 5 days. Almost finished with Day #2 and feeling really awesome. Energetic, giddy almost. One thing I have noticed is I’m a bit more “scatter-brained” than normal. Not sure if this is due to the lack of actual food or what but I can’t seem to focus on anything.

I have a headache. A little one. I’ve been drinking Peppermint Tea a lot today, which is a permitted beverage & I have to tell you, I like tea! I’m a huge fan. I was OVERWHELMED when I was in Whole Foods & walked down the isle of tea’s. The plethora of tea’s available was astounding. I don’t even think there are that many choices of dried cereal! Fruity, minty, herbal, breakfast, green, energizing, relaxing, the list goes on. Ooohh…and guess who I saw at the market? Simon Pegg. The actor from Shawn of the Dead & Hot Fuzz amongst other things. His shopping cart was filled to the brim, actually above the brim. One more apple & the whole thing would’ve come toppling down.

Well the day isn’t over yet, still have plenty o’ hours to sit & think about not eating. Chances are Day’s 3 & 4 of the Cleanse will be rehashed on Monday when I have access to a computer. Until then.