I seriously can pick out the winners in a crowd. Yes, I’m being quite facetious. The other day I went bowling with one of my friends, Matt. We were having a grand ol’ time playing each other in air hockey, basketball, dance dance revolution (which I kick butt in I will add) until our names were called for our lane.
Whilst playing the arcade games I kept on noticing an attractive guy keep glancing over at me. We kept making eye contact throughout the evening & when I made a trip to the bar, he stopped me & began chit-chatting. It was a short lived conversation as I wanted to get my beer & head back to bowling but in the minute or two that we spoke he babbled on about how he thought I was ‘so gorgeous & sexy’ and how ‘he would love to take me out to dinner’, etc etc. I was flattered as I found him attractive as well but wasn’t yet going to be giving out my digits.
An hour or so passed & I went back to the bar to grab Matt & I another round of beers. Yet again this guy “Tim” stops me & insists I get his number or him mine as he really really wants to take me out to dinner &/or drinks. By this time I was thinking, OK, he’s definitely persistent & seems interested so, why not. We exchanged numbers & he mentioned he would text me “something sweet & cute” right away so I wouldn’t forget who he was. Hello! It’s not like I give my number out to just any random, of course I wouldn’t forget who he was as he was a persistent one from the bowling alley. The texts that were sent back & forth are as follows.
Tim : Where’s my cute bowler?
Me : Still working on my game.
Tim : See, I told you I’d sent a cute text.
Me : I don’t know if that constitutes as a cute text but thank you anyhow.
Tim : Well I’d really like to take you out to dinner this week. Do you like sushi?
Me : Why yes I do like sushi, when are you thinking?
Tim : You tell me when, I’ll tell you where.
Me : I’m free Thursday, you?
And then no more texts the rest of the night.
Turn the page to 11:15 the next morning. I’m finishing up some laundry & I hear my phone ringing. Looking to see who it is, I see it’s “Tim Bowling” calling. Wow, he really is persistent. I pick up the phone & here is the convo: (Warning, might be the funniest/awkward/amazing convo ever)…
Tim: Kristen!!
Me : Hey Tim
Tim : See, I told you I’d call.
Me : You’re right, I didn’t expect a phone call so soon though.
Tim : Well I wanted to talk to you but also I think I left my hat.
Me : Umm…you think you left your hat? Where?
Tim : In your bedroom silly, where else.
Me : Well unless the bowling alley was magically transformed into my bedroom, which it wasn’t, I have no idea where you left your hat.
Tim : Ha ha, you’re funny. You’re joking right? Remember last night I was standing in your room naked wearing only my hat & you were giggling?
Me : Ummm Tim? I think you have the wrong Kristen because you were never in my room. Really. You were never even in my house as I last saw you at the bowling alley.
Tim : Oh Fuck. Shit. Fuck. I am so sorry, Oh. My. God. Fuck.
Click……
Pretty much the most awesome conversation I’ve ever witnessed. He must’ve been scamming quite a few girls at the bowling alley & he went home with one of them. After the fact she was probably saying “So you’re going to call right?” & him being all, “yes I’ll call I promise, I have your number in my phone”. Fast forward to a few hours later when he thinks he’s calling “the girl he went home with” and voila, here I am an innocent bystander in a sleaze-ball love triangle. The unknown question that will remain unanswered is, ‘Did he actually meet two girls named Kristen & saved them in his phone & mixed them up’ or Good times in the city. I want my girlfriend to call his number from her phone in a week & say “Tim, you haven’t called and you said you would. I thought we had something special. I still have your hat too”. What I would give to be a fly on the wall on the receiving end of the phone call.
Lesson learned. I’m glad I found out very early on what a major douchebag this guy was.
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